Twisted
by shourin
Summary: Naruto, Ino and instant ramen. If only things were as simple as that.


**Disclaimer: **Naruto is not mine.

**Twisted  
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"So... Sasuke said he likes you."

Ino stopped stirring her instant ramen. Gingerly, she sealed the aluminum cover to let the noodles cook and licked the tips of her chopsticks clean.

"Naruto, you know that he's just saying that to mess you up." she replied, her face free of emotion.

"I really doubt that. He looked pretty serious to me."

With practiced ease, Naruto tore away the plastic cover of an instant ramen, and peeled the aluminum cover back. Swiftly, he reached for the packet of condiments with his right hand and immediately dumped the hot water into the bowl with his left. Not a single second was wasted. His efficiency with the instant ramen was admirable and Ino approved.

Only to herself, of course.

"Not interested".

"Why not? You're not married. You have no boyfriend..." he trailed the word, waiting for her to agree or object.

"Naruto, I'm a spy nin. I'm perfectly happy with this arrangement."

"Are you really?" he asked, face every bit as skeptical as his tone implied.

"Yes I am."

"You're lying."

Ino shifted in her seat and tilted her head at the blonde across from her.

"What makes you say that? You and I weren't even that close 'til I popped your cherry."

Naruto grumbled. "True. But isn't Sasuke your first love or some shit?"

"Irrelevant. Sakura loves him and I intend to get out of her way".

She lifted and edge of the aluminum cover to check on her ramen.

"It's not ready yet".

"I know".

She resealed the cover. Really, who could argue with his Majesty of Ramen?

"...You still love Shikamaru, don't you?"

Ino bristled only a second before regaining her nonchalance.

"Again, irrelevant. He left me, remember?"

"He didn't mean to. He just made an innocent mistake."

"There's nothing innocent in impregnating a girl, Naruto. He's safely married and has a family now. Whatever I feel makes no difference."

"But you were happy back then. With him."

"And I'm still happy."

She checked on her ramen again. Satisfied that it looked ready, she gently tore open the condiments packet and poured the contents into her ramen, stirring it well with her chopsticks.

"I seriously doubt that." The whisker marked ninja declared, unconvinced.

Ino grunted as if to say '_whatever'_ and slurped on her noodles. The texture was perfect. Through her lowered eyelashes she had a perfect view of Naruto's adam's apple bobbing up and down as he gulped with envy, barely restraining himself from licking his lips. Suddenly devious, Ino lifted the plastic bowl and slurped the chicken flavored soup.

Naruto caved.

"Can I have some? It looks good."

She wordlessly passed her bowl to him and he clamped a bundle of noodles in between his chopsticks and inhaled large mouthful. By the time he passed the bowl back to Ino, half of the contents were gone.

Ino didn't mind.

Naruto began preparing his own instant ramen and in no time, he was slurping from his bowl. Ino continued to eat hers in silence.

"You want some?"

Ino lifted her brows. Everybody knew it was rare for Naruto to offer his ramen to anybody. Ino decided not to miss the chance.

"Sure."

Even though she and Naruto were eating the same brand and flavor of ramen, his tasted better. Again she approved, but only to herself.

He was the Majesty of Ramen, after all.

She passed back his ramen and continued eating what was left of hers.

"I still think you should go out with Sasuke."

Ino sighed and swallowed her last mouthful of chicken flavored soup. Putting the chopstick in the empty bowl, she pushed it aside. Naruto did the same.

"Sakura loves him."

She repeated, reaching for her water bottle and taking a liberal sip, the cool water soothing the heat of spicy noodles. Naruto did the same.

"You should at least try."

"I should try to keep my friend count to the max, is more like it. I don't want to lose Sakura over that, not again."

"What if..."

Ino raised her brow. High. Naruto was never the contemplative type. He wasn't even the thinking type. She slightly doubted that the Naruto in front of her was the real one.

"Hear me out. What if... Sakura was out of the way. You know, like... if she wasn't into Sasuke anymore."

"Naruto, that's impossible."

"Hypotically speaking. Would you go out with Sasuke then?"

"It's 'hypothetically'." Ino corrected.

"Hypo-the-tically speaking. Would you go out with Sasuke then?" repeated Naruto. Face exasperated.

Ino thought about it for 2 seconds.

"Maybe..."

Naruto smirked his 'victory smirk'.

"...not."

And his smirk fell. It made Ino smile.

"Seriously? Do you have a grudge over him or what?"

She shrugged. "No, not really."

"Then, why? Out of all the girls in Konoha, he said he's interested in you. Only you."

She shook her head. "Naruto, he's just trying to mess you up. Probably jealous of your nightly visits."

She drank some more from her water bottle.

"Che. I really doubt it. He can easily get any girl he wants in his bed."

"Uh humph," she said gulping her water down. "So can you." she continued, wiping her lips with the back of her hand.

He snorted. "As if that was true."

"It is. You're as popular as Sasuke, if not more. I got jealous stares from your fangirls all the time and we're not even dating."

"_ALL_ of the girls are jealous of you."

"Not true. I have nothing to be jealous of."

Naruto just kept silent and stared at Ino.

Ino stared back.

"I still think that you and Sasuke would look good together."

Ino sighed again. Naruto was definitely being too insistent. Something just didn't click right.

"Is this about Sakura?" Silence. Ino should have known. "You still love her, don't you?"

He smiled sadly and Ino found it hideous to see the All Powerful Naruto reduced to this just because of a girl. Pathetic. Really pathetic.

"You know what, I'm bored. Mind if I borrow your dick tonight?"

He raised his eyebrows and didn't say anything, but his sad smile transformed into a leering smirk. Ino approved.

And she said so out loud.

"Good".

**END**

a/n: This story is co-written by Nukumi. I am awed by her prowess.


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